Back on Ward 10

Madelaine came out of hospital last Saturday. She completed a 5 day course of antibiotics. When she came home she didn't really pick up. She never really moved from the sofa and had no interest in walking or even crawling anywhere on her own. Like having a little baby again. On Wednesday we spoke with the clinic and Martin, our Liaison Nurse came to see Madelaine and take a sample of blood for analysis. It seemed that her bloods were fine. Her neutrophils were 0.96 and her HB was 12.4. I was relieved at her counts and we all thought that the influenza must be the cause of her lack of energy. At this point she hadn't experienced any high temperatures.
This was was shortlived. Yesterday lunchtime (Friday) she was on the sofa again and just looked so weak and poorly. Her temperature soared from 37.4 to 38.4 within 30 minutes.
She was admitted to Ward 10 and has started another course of antibiotics to try and fight whatever infection is inside her. Her neutrophils plummeted to 0.08 so they cannot fight whatever is there. We are now awaiting results from blood cultures to try and identify what and where the infection is.
I will be saying an extra prayer for my baby tonight.

Mummy's Thoughts

No-one ever tells you how scared you will feel or how helpless. The staff at the Hospital can't tell you that because they don't know. Last night Dave and I cried together as we watched out little girl lying there on the sofa, doing nothing. She looks so pale and fragile. She is sleeping all the time. She has no energy at all. Not even to lift her head from the pillow. I am frightened. I know the chemotherapy has completely wiped her out. I know the reasons why she feels the way she does, but it doesn't make it any easier to watch her looking so vulnerable and so poorly.
I just wish I could do something for her. I want this to be over. I want my Madelaine back.

Flu

Madelaine has Flu. She has now been moved onto another ward and into her own room to protect the other children from getting it. She seems ok in herself but she is still infectious. I panicked at first but Mark (the Charge Nurse) has reassured me that its ok and nothing to panic about.

Back on the Ward.

Madelaine's temperature spiked yesterday at 38.5. One second she was playing happily and nattering away and within minutes she became very hot and lethargic. Suffice to say, she is now back on Ward 10. After having her blood count taken, it was clear that she was neutropenic. Her neutrophil count was 0.32. Today her neutrophil count is 0.24. She also had a little nosebleed today which could possibly mean that her platelets are low. Sarah, our nurse today and the student nurse, Donna, checked her platelets and they are 149. We have seen it alot worse, but we have also seen it quite alot higher.
It has been quite some time since we have been back on the Ward. It seems a lifetime ago. Sadly, there are lots of new faces on Ward. It brings it all back. Even though we knew that it was possible that Madelaine would not be well, its still difficult watching her deteriorate. It doesn't really get any easier.
I am very positive, however, that she will bounce back, just like she has before.

The last Intensive Block begins...

Well, Madelaine has now started her 2nd Intensive block of treatment. Her neutrophils were 0.88, just over the 0.75 limit. She started 5 days ago and she already is losing her energy and feeling unwell. Her hair is disappearing too. I worry about her. She has been so full of life recently and it breaks my heart watching her. But still, the treatment will soon be over and we can get on with being a normal family doing normal things together. She's a peach, that daughter of mine. She's still cheeky. xx :-)